Vacation

Ahhhh vacation. Mexico. Sun. Sand. Surf. Margaritas. Sounds like heaven – except for the boy.

We know we were lucky to be able to have a family vacation in Mexico this spring break and leave Fort Collins for five days. And, we had fun. I certainly don’t want to sound ungrateful. BUT we also had the boy. Our son is five and that alone makes a travel vacation risky. The boy is beautiful and smart and energetic but can sometimes be a real downer. He is a pessimist. He always finds something negative about every situation. We could be walking along the beach at sunset and he can complain that it is too windy. We could be looking at whales on a sunset cruise and he can complain that the water smells too fishy. He can complain about anything.

I never really thought about it before, but if you know an adult like this, one who is very negative, they were probably negative as a child as well. My mom was like that – and my husband says that the boy is channeling her. I try to talk to him about it in the most simple well-chosen mommy words that I can muster. I try to ask him about his feelings but I am usually only met by a stony silence and pouty lips. What to do?

One of the worst consequences of this negativity comes from my daughter who loves to say ,“I wish we never adopted him” followed by “he is ruining our vacation”. I mean, he can really be a killjoy but I worry she is picking up this message from me.

We try to work around him and his sullenness, but it can be draining especially when all you want to do is kick back and escape your problems. Travelling as a family means that most of your problems come too.

I try not to let his moods get to me. Sometimes I tell him to sulk somewhere else so he doesn’t ruin everyone’s good time. We try to have alone time with each child hoping that they will feel special and also get a break from each other. I suppose I will REconsult with the child psychologist again - to just check in and see if he has any useful parenting advice. I try to check the things I say out loud so both kids don’t get “permission” to think similar thoughts.

And then there are moments when everyone is happy and we all just click. The dinner has been to everyone’s satisfaction. There has been laughing and free flowing conversation. I have a slight buzz from my Pacifica. Those are the moments I will try to hold on to and remember.

Until the next family vacation.

Welcome to Singapore

After 29 hours in transit by car, shuttle, jet after jet after jet, airport trains to and fro, escalators, elevators, feet and shoulders aching from the strain of three small children and a pile of luggage, we arrived at Singapore Changi Airport just beyond midnight..... and nobody greeted us.

We pulled our suitcases off the luggage carousel, peering through a glass wall expecting the smiling faces of PoPo and YeYe, grandma and grandpa. Excitement turned to dismay as we rolled our baggage cart through the customs exit and the waiting room cleared, leaving us alone. We waited a bit, wondering if they were delayed by traffic, or perhaps by the car rental. My husband called the house multiple times without answer.

Eventually we realized that they weren't simply late: it appeared that they weren't coming at all. And we didn't know what to do.

The children were pleased to discover an "Urban Playground" on the basement 2 level. It was next to a still fountain pond with bits of floating foam. I laid down on a cool gray marble step surrounding the pond and rested while they played and my husband stayed upstairs near the baggage claim trying the phone again and changing some money and visiting the info desk, all the while hoping his parents would suddenly arrive.

Lying there at 2:23am, I closed my eyes and listened to the clanking clatter and playful exchange of my first 2 kids on the whimsical playground. A jazz rendition of "Silver Bells" provided ambiance while a widescreen television tuned to the Singapore Cartoon Network droned in the background. I heard the footsteps and cell phone voices of occasional businessmen passing by. The piercing whirr of marble polishers on the walls down the corridor kept me awake. But the best sound of all was the faint rhythmic whisper of my baby's breath as he slept in the stroller beside my face so blissfully unaware of it all.

Of course the mind hopes for the best and fears the worst. Did they have a car accident? Another heart episode? Were they okay? Were they home? Why weren't they answering the phone?

Finally around 6am they did. It turned out that they were expecting us the following night and had merely slept through the all the phone ringing. I didn't know whether to feel irritated or relieved. I was glad that they were fine, as they are elderly and I had truly begun to worry. They were at the airport very quickly after that, YeYe white as a sheet and extremely apologetic, PoPo saying she thought she may have heard the phone a few times...

And then began the adventure of cramming 3 suitcases, 6 carry-ons, 3 kids, 3 carseats, 4 adults and a stroller into a 5-passenger hatchback for the ride home...