YES mom NO mom

As you all have heard before, I want to be the mom to say YES. I want to be cool and fun. I want my kids to like me. Don’t we all. But alas, this is not the way it has to be…

I have an iPhone. AND as one of the “urban Amish” (a term I stole from Peggy but perfectly describes me as well), it is underused. By me. For me, it is a phone, and a way to check e-mail, and texts, but Apps are not my thing. I do have a few to be sure, a movie clock, a pregnancy wheel, etc. but not pages and pages of them.

One of my biggest “YES” mistakes was to let my 10-year-old daughter “buy” some free games. Now when we drive around she drains my battery playing silly games with names like Jelly car.

Yesterday after coming back from a run, she was waiting for me outside. I felt happy that she had missed me and was excited to see me back. It turned out that what she really wanted was to buy a game for my phone that cost $10.00. “NO” was my immediate answer and my reward was that pouty sulky face that makes me feel like I am the meanest worst mother in the whole entire world. This really pissed me off. Not only did it ruin my endorphin high, but also I realized that I should have just been strong enough to not have ever let her use my phone in the first place.

I told her that I was really disappointed in her attitude especially since I have been so generous with my phone and that that could change at any moment in time if she didn’t change her attitude. And then I said ”sorry mommy” to which she said “sorry mommy” in that somewhat insincere and mocking voice and then I made a forced smile showing all my teeth and then she did too and walked away.

Needless to say, her adolescence has officially started in my mind and I should probably get a prescription for Xanax at my next check up. I am also going to have to say “NO” more frequently and more easily and without the nagging guilt that comes with it. Next time, the “NO” may be more important.